It's 20 after 8:00.
- Grace, it's my turn. - Okay, just a minute.
- [Zoe] No. Get off. - Don't stand over me.
- [Computer] Goodbye, - Zoe!
- I'm gonna kill you! - [Lily] I'm home.
I was in the middle of an e-mail!
Tough, you big, fat hog!
Hey, stop it, both of you, right now!
You know how ridiculous you sound?
I'm not the one hogging the computer to talk about Felicity's hair.
Was it Zoe's turn?
- I was finishing up a conversation. - I was using all the air on the planet.
- We need another computer. - I need my life back!
Grace, I know it's been hard with me working so late.
Wait. Why is it just hard for her?
I was acknowledging Grace has been good about babysitting.
- I'm not staying with her anymore. - Okay.
- Anyone done their homework? - It was my turn!
Upstairs and do your homework. I need the computer now.
Mom!
- Fine. Fine. - Up!
[Zoe] Hey! Mom...
I have to prepare for a meeting.
I will make it up to you.
Upstairs.
[Judy] "Booklovers is a community of readers and seekers
making the bookstore a favorite hangout."
Oh, that is so great.
- Judy, you forgot to sign this page. - Aren't you impressed? I am.
Of course I am. It's brilliant.
I mean, look at all the people who signed up... the cards.
People are buying books. They're coming back.
I know. I've read them all. I think it's a great idea.
- I'm really proud of you. - Thank you.
All it took was for me to leave.
Oh, come on. You have a great job.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, God. I've got to get there. Here.
- Bye. - Bye.
[People talking in hushed voices]
[woman] It's gonna be okay.
[Man] It's tough, that's all.
Gwen,
did something happen?
Um, Christie laid off a whole bunch of people this morning.
Oh, my God.
- You didn't know? - No, nothing.
She sent interoffice e-mails. Good luck.
I can guarantee you a certain amount of output...
I understand that.
How can I guarantee that same output?
[Christie] I'm between a rock and a hard place, Artie.
[Artie] A rock and a hard place?
I don't think you realize how much I depend on Muhar,
and how much you depend on Muhar. Without him,
I can't guarantee the same amount of input.
[Christie] Understand the situation I'm in. You're not listening.
[Artie] Tell me how I compensate for his loss and I'll listen.
[Christie] You're gonna have to work harder until we get all this worked out.
You heard me. Artie.
Artie, please leave.
Come on, Muhar. It's all one cliche after another.
- [Christie] Lily. - Yeah?
Come on in my office.
Oh, close the door.
I had to do something really difficult today.
Christie, if I'm fired, please just tell me.
No, Lily, you're not. No. I need you.
[Sighs] You do?
Yes. You've turned into a gigantic help to me.
- Well, good. - I didn't involve you in this
because people are gonna be upset.
I didn't want that to rebound unfairly onto you.
I appreciate that.
I'm gonna need you to watch my back.
Okay.
If people want to see me, set appointments for the afternoon.
You told me the presentation to the venture capital people went well.
Yeah, on one level it did. We're not shut down, but...
But?
To protect our independence,
I have to demonstrate that I can make tough choices
so they give us money without sending in a venture capitalist to oversee us.
- Do you know why they'd do that? - Tell me.
Because I'm a person with breasts.
Oh.
So? Are you dead or alive?
Oh, alive, I guess.
You want some bread with butter and sugar?
- No. - It's good.
It's unbelievable, huh?
She works this staff around the clock for weeks, right?
To put together a presentation to save her ass,
knowing she's gonna fire them when they're done.
If you're pumping me for information, I was out of the loop, honestly.
She fired Muhar.
I don't know how she expects me to keep the site up with no help.
- You're putting sugar on peanut butter? - Yep.
- You want some? - No.
I'm sorry, Lily. She's your boss, and I'm putting you on the spot.
No. I mean, I feel terrible.
She's just been under a lot of pressure and...
Never mind.
Well, you have to be political. I understand.
Bye.
[Lily] So the techie guy, Artie the webmaster,
accused her of working everybody to the bone,
knowing the whole time that she was going to lay them off.
I bet you that job pays nothing. I bet people take that job
just so they can say, "I'm a webmaster. What do you do?"
Can you believe I say words like "sticky eyeballs" and "webmaster"?
I might as well go out and get my tongue pierced.
- Are we still on for tonight? - Mm.
I'll pick you up in my webmaster mobile.
Will you be wearing your webmaster cape?
You bet, baby, and not much else.
Ooh.
Oh, God. Rick, I really want to, but...
Oh. The kids?
Last night Zoe and Grace were fighting like 3-year-olds.
They've totally regressed. It's because of my job.
I must be ruining their lives.
- You shouldn't think like that. - I know.
- Especially since it's true. - Oh. Thank you.
I have to be there tonight to prevent...
It's not fratricide. What is it when sisters kill each other?
Sistercide?
Oh, God. I have to go back to that office now.
I hope no one's carrying automatic weapons.
Yeah, well, we're in a world of pierced tongues
and disgruntled employees on a rampage.
- You folks have a nice day. - Thanks.
So the financing was on the condition that you do all these layoffs?
- In effect. - In effect?
This is the hardest thing I've done since we started by far.
I saved as many jobs as I could.
Christie? Excuse me, but sending stealth e-mails,
"Thanks for the hard work, you're history."
- That's not being in it together. - Not in the meeting.
- We should discuss this. - Come to my office later, okay?
All right, guys, let's move on.
Ideas for new features.
Let's go, guys.
Actually, I have an idea.
Okay.
All right.
Well, the site needs to be stickier, right?
We need sticky eyeballs.
- Go, Lily. - [Chuckles] So...
I've been thinking about what makes people hang out?
What builds a community?
We have the discussion threads, which are good,
but it's random who shows up.
So my idea is we assign people to online families
of about 20 people each.
Has anyone read Kurt Vonnegut's book Slapstick: Lonesome No More?
Yeah.
Okay. Well, in the book,
on Earth everyone gets assigned to about one of 20 families
so that people aren't so lonely.
So we say come to PagesAlive and we'll put you in a family for a month,
and you'll get to know them and argue and do activities.
They're people you never would have known
if we hadn't forced you to, like a real family.
How do you match the people up?
Have them answer a revealing question.
Oh. Like,
"What's the one thing you would save if your house was on fire?"
Or something quirkier, like, "If your soul was on fire..."
Wow. That's interesting.
You've spent a lot of time on that.
Let's keep that in the file. Anybody else?
[Christie] It's been a tough day, so let's get back to work.
I like your idea, Lily. I do.
There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise.
Good work.
Hi. Can I help you?
Uh, you could say I'm here about a job.
- Boy, did you pick the wrong day. - I did?
A lot of people here just got laid off.
You're kidding. Parker did that?
Do you have an appointment with Christie? I'm her assistant.
Graham Rympalski of Pittsburgh.
Um, could I have something to drink?
Sorry. I'm sorry. I...
Yes. I have one green eye and one blue eye.
- It's okay. Everybody stares. - I have never seen that before.
Some find it disturbing. They don't know which eye to look into.
- It can be an advantage in business. - Why is that?
It keeps people off balance.
Well, this is our kitchen.
- What can I get you to drink? - Anything with electrolytes.
Are you serious? You want a sports drink?
If you have one.
Okay. Let's see.
Are you Christie's new trainer?
No. I'm a management consultant.
I'll be helping out on the business side.
Oh, my God.
I'm the guy she's been trying to avoid.
I don't know why she fired people. That was a bit preemptive.
Oh...
She didn't fire you, did she?
- No. No, she didn't. - Good.
Um...
So, uh, no sports drink?
There's one way back here.
- Are you an athlete? - Endurance sports.
- This one has a name on it. - Oh.
- "Muhar." - Yeah.
Was he one of the ones who was fired?
Actually, he was.
Speaking of endurance, how long have you worked for Parker?
- I don't think I should answer that. - Why not? It's a simple question.
Not the way you phrased it.
[Artie] My situation was difficult. Now it's impossible.
- You're gonna walk out? - [Graham] Who's he?
- [Lily] The webmaster. - She's firing him?
I think he's firing her.
- [Christie] That's immature! - [Blows raspberry]
Oh.
Christie.
I'm Graham Rympalski of Clavan and Fosdick.
- Sorry about the timing. - Oh. Unbelievable.
They're heartless. They eat their young.
If I'd known you were coming, I would have rescheduled my disaster.
Lily, want to get Graham something to drink?
Oh, uh, we've already done all that.
Well, come on in.
Wow, you kick me out and the house turns into The Jerry Springer Show,
Grace resents the babysitting. I don't blame her. I can identify.
Maybe we get her her own computer, a new one.
- You asking me to pay for it? - Well, yeah. I mean...
I'm not saying it's impossible, but...
There are inexpensive ones. I could pay part of it.
So we bribe her to babysit,
thus solving two problems with one computer.
Not a bribe, a reward. A thank-you.
Right. A bribe.
So this is like a bribe?
Not a bribe, a reward. A way of saying thank you.
It's still unfair, no matter how many computers you buy me.
I'm not her mother. I'm supposed to have my own life.
Oh, Grace, I know.
I don't want to be mean, but it's like she's always one step too close.
When did all this happen?
I remember you and Zoe having pillow fights,
you'd laugh and chase each other.
- Remember? - No.
I bet she misses her big sister.
So you want me to go hit her with a pillow?
Oh, Grace, you know what I'm saying.
Just remember that annoying little munchkin
is the only sister you have, and she worships you.
No way. She hates me.
But she'll have Jessie soon.
I don't even know where to start with that one.
Oh, come on, Mom.
[Imitating Lily] That's getting ahead of ourselves.
We don't know what'll happen. But even if Jessie does move in,
there's no reason to think Zoe would glom on to her
just to show you what a mean sister you are.
- How was that? - Is that what you think would happen?
I don't care. I just want my own life. Here.
- [Christie] This is Gretchen. - [Graham] Hi.
Okay, this is Dean Laberge, our computer graphic warriorlvisionary.
Graham will be working on the business side,
so be really nice to him.
- [Dean] You're our savior. Cool. - [Graham] Hope so.
Oh, excuse me. Let me get Lily started on something.
Hey.
Jackass. Okay, basically, we're under siege.
I want to make one thing clear. You are working with me.
If he needs something,
if he asks you to do anything more than say good morning,
- clear it with me. - Okay. I will.
So, he reinstated the people who were laid off?
That was just to undermine me with the staff.
Welcome to hardball.
When you fired people you knew he was coming?
It was a preemptive move to prevent his coming,
but I acted too late.
Whoa.
Yeah, you're not in Kansas anymore, Lily.
He wants to make it so unpleasant for me that I resign
and they don't have to pay my contract.
He doesn't know who he's dealing with.
- I have a secret weapon. - What is that?
I have a very high tolerance for people disliking me.
I can just shut it out and do what needs to be done.
It kind of ruins my personal life, but... [sighs]
Compared to Christie, I was raised to be a geisha.
Not that I would want to be like her,
but I thought women were obsessed with being liked.
How did she escape our common fate?
I know it's unsettling, big-time,
to have a stranger come in and stick his hands in the machinery,
but Christie and I are gonna be a team.
She'll be working on the content side. I'll be working on survival.
[High-pitched voice] I'm the content. [Low-pitched] He's survival.
I'll tell you my story.
I'm from Pittsburgh.
It's Rympalski. My grandfather and father were steelworkers.
My plan was to play shortstop for the Pirates.
When that didn't pan out, I went to Wall Street.
Hey, it was the '80s. "Greed is good."
Even a millworker's son can thrive.
One thing led to another.
Now I save companies for the venture capital guys
in the Internet sector,
and I can't believe how lucky I've been,
from steel that made the infrastructure
to Wall Street that made the prosperity
to the Web and you people who are making the new universe.
[Sighs]
Lily?
- Yeah. Hi. - Hi.
I heard about your idea.
- I... - From the Vonnegut book.
You're kidding.
Do you have anything written down?
- No. I don't. - Well, could you?
- Yeah, sure. - Great. Thank you.
Okay.
You going to lunch?
Actually, I'm going to meet my sister.
Oh. Could you recommend a place nearby?
I'll eat anything.
Oh, sure. There's a dive around the corner.
It has delicious homemade soup. They may even have electrolytes.
Great. Thanks. Say hi to your sister.
[Judy] He's obviously flirting.
Okay, let's say he is.
- Are you attracted to him? - No.
That's not what this discussion is about.
So, what's it about?
If he is flirting with me,
in a friendly, casual way, not harassment...
- Mm-hmm? - ...Is this good or bad for me,
in terms of my idea and him being interested in it
and the workplace and Christie?
Is there a way for me to play this
so that I can win and gain from it, not lose?
Oh, my God.
All right. I've got a great book for you.
How to Succeed in Business Without a Penis,
You're kidding.
No, sold out. Oh, here's one.
What Would Machiavelli Do? This looks helpful.
So, what's this idea of yours that Mr. Pittsburgh thinks is so fascinating?
[Lily] Oh, it's too complicated to go into now.
Too complicated? Who am I? Jake?
I'm writing a description for Graham, so I'll e-mail it to you
- and you can tell me what you think. - Okay.
Oh. Here's the one you need.
Oh, thank you.
[Man] PagesAlive... Alive with opinions, news,
alive with strange, beguiling people, places,
- [rooster crows] - [cow moos]
Chicago's hot website, What's hot?
Ideas, hot places, hot in the windy city,
Can you turn this off?
Sure.
This is fun, um...
And it obviously took a lot of work,
but it's, uh, counterproductive.
I think Clavan and Fosdick responded positively.
No, they didn't.
They thought it was good for what it was,
but financial partners aren't dazzled by flying cows.
They're numbers guys. They want red meat.
They prefer dead cows.
Yes, and to continue the dead cow metaphor,
you're selling sizzle.
- We gotta concentrate on the steak. - All right, but if steak is profit,
we don't have steak yet.
You still have to push the steak, even if it's only steak of the future.
I hope you're not writing this down.
[Chuckles]
- That captures the discussion. - What? Let me see.
Nothing. It's stupid.
Come on. I mean, it made him laugh.
We should get back to the meeting.
No, I want to see this.
Moo.
And then I wrote, "Moo-ooo-oo."
[Chuckles]
Can we get back to the meeting?
Why are we so pathetic? "I want to see."
"No, I want to see it." "I saw it first."
That's our life from beginning to the end,
and it never gets any better than that?
In two days Clavan and Fosdick will be bringing a group of investors
to see a revised presentation.
We need something much simpler that articulates our goals.
- The introduction does that. - We'll shorten it.
It's a piece. It can't be shortened.
Anything can be shortened.
Christie, I'm trying to help.
- You gotta let me into the process. - No, you're digging my grave.
Why would I dig your grave when you're so willing to do it yourself?
I'm trying to save what you created.
I'm gonna get something from the kitchen.
- Can I get you something? - No.
- Lily? - No, thank you.
I'm sorry. What can I do to help you?
You can help me by doing research on him.
Not from these computers. Can you do it at home?
What do you want me to research?
Everything. Where he's been,
what he's written, who he's screwed, how.
Find out if those are his original eyes.
- What do you mean? - I don't trust him.
[Zoe] Who's Zooey25?
It's your Aunt Judy,
and it isn't "Zoe," it's "Zoo-ey."
It's a character from a book she likes.
I'm glad nobody named me "Zooey."
I am too.
- Ready, Zooey? - [Exasperated sigh]
[telephone rings]
Do you want me to look up his driver's license too?
- I know how to find it. - You do? Isn't that illegal?
- Hello? - What's illegal?
I'm having my 10-year-old find this poor guy's driver's license on the Web.
You're turning into a crime family.
Oh, Judy gave me this book. Listen to this.
"How do you get people to do what you want?
How do you force people who work for you to be loyal only to you?
You set them at one another and watch them
rip out one another's throats."
- Where is that from? - What Would Machiavelli Do?
What happened to girls reading National Velvet?
So all this was inspired by Graham Rympalski, huh,
- of the mesmerizing eyes? - Oh, Rick.
You have mentioned them a few times.
- You're not jealous, are you? - No, no.
I just want to know what he looks like.
Oh, come on, Rick. This is silly.
You're right.
So, is he a billionaire?
Bill Gates is a billionaire. I wouldn't leave you for Bill Gates.
I'm not so sure,
- [Graham] Thanks for meeting me. - [Lily] Why am I meeting you?
I was blown away by what you sent me.
Really?
Don't you have confidence in what you did?
Yeah, but...
Lily, I think you should.
That's just one man's opinion, but...
Graham, I think I need to clarify something.
- Okay. - I want to do more at the magazine,
and I am really glad that you like my idea.
But is that really why we're having breakfast?
I wanted to get to know you.
The one thing you need to know about me
is that I'm involved with someone.
Of course you are.
Well, no ring.
Oh, yeah.
Look, I'm a venture guy. It's my job to take risks,
and I really do like your idea, and I like you.
It gets tedious hanging around with 22-year-olds all the time.
- Tell me about it. - Good.
- Glad we got that straightened out. - Yeah, me too.
- Can I ask you something? - Shoot.
What do you see happening with the magazine?
I see it being run by people
with a profound understanding of the marketplace,
how fast it moves, how it eats new ideas for breakfast every day.
PagesAlive is a stagnant little pool right now.
Somebody needs to churn up the water
so all the little fishies can live.
Right.
Hey.
- Have you been here all night? - Artie's gone.
- Somebody's got to get this site up. - God.
- I brought you a mocha double espresso. - Thank you.
Do you need anything else right now?
[Sighs]
No, I'm going to take a break.
What's all this?
[Christie] They've been moving his stuff in for two hours.
I guess he'll be staying a while.
- Do you like this furniture? - It's gorgeous.
A little out of place here.
You think these are antiques
- or reproductions? - I don't know.
Find out, would you?
You know, whether these are his personal things
or whether Clavan and Fosdick is furnishing this office for him.
Okay.
Christie, don't torture yourself. This is just furniture.
I'm just tired.
I don't think they'd be sending this nice furniture
if they didn't believe in this place.
They believe in getting their money out as soon as they can.
I'm the one who believes in this place.
[Door slams open]
- Here it is. - [Zoe] Here what is?
You and your sister get to have your very own computer.
- Yes! - This goes in Grace's room,
and you get to use the one downstairs anytime you want.
Well, as long as you let your mom use it every now and then.
You're giving the new computer to Grace?
Who decided that?
Well, your mom and I talked about it...
How many megahertz does it have?
Six hundred.
Six hundred?
The one in the living room is a 266.
266.
It works fine for everything you need, doesn't it?
- How much RAM? - Zoe...
- No, how much? - 128.
The other one has 32.
I have never heard you complain about that computer even once.
Does it have a DVD?
I knew it.
Okay. Listen, sweetie, come here.
You can all just leave me alone.
I don't want your stupid computer,
and stay out of my room!
I don't want you in there ever again. I mean it!
They're only giving me the computer because I have to babysit, Zoe.
When you're 15, you won't have to stay home.
- You'll get to have a life! - [Door slams]
Stay down here for a second.
[Rap music playing]
- Can I turn this down? - Do whatever you want.
[Music stops]
It isn't fair.
Zoe. God.
Look, when you're older, you'll have your own computer too.
She gets a new computer even though I'm really good at computers,
and she doesn't care about them.
She gets new clothes, and I get her old clothes.
Oh, Zoe, that's just not true.
What about this? And this?
That's the sweater you loved. That's why we gave it to you.
You have more sweaters than Grace did at your age.
Oh, sure.
When Grace was your age, Daddy was making a lot less.
So I got an extra sweater,
and she got five more years
of a non-divorced family?
I think that means you owe me a computer.
[Rap music playing]
Hey, Lil, it's your sister.
Um, I just read your e-mail about your idea.
Could you call me as soon as possible?
Please?
And when we meet back here, I want each of you to tell me
how your department can bring in revenue.
PagesAlive reviews restaurants, plays, all sorts of things.
Charge a fee.
A fee when a user clicks through from a review to a merchant's site.
Articles. Where are the opportunities for financial partnerships?
For example?
You run an article on religion.
Users can click through to books on the subject, religious jewelry,
retreats, travel agencies offering tours of religious sites.
- You're turning it into a mall. - It's a service to the user.
Letting them know what's for sale. Information.
Reviews for a fee? It's completely unethical.
The Web is the Wild West, not the editorial rooms of the New York Times,
- The same rules don't apply. - Well, they do if we apply them.
I can't sit here.
Take a break.
This meeting is adjourned until later.
You took money from Clavan and Fosdick venture partners.
If you wanted a hobby magazine that never needed to pay for itself,
you should've gone to Daddy.
Why do you assume my daddy has money?
Look, I'm trying to save this thing you created.
No, you're not.
You're here to fatten up the pig and take it to market quickly.
If you push me out, all you'll have is your little shopping mall,
no reason for anybody to come to it.
If somebody wants a screwdriver, they'll go to screwdrivers. Com, not PagesAlive,
If somebody wants to get screwed, they'll go directly to you.
Isn't it arrogant for you to assume you're the only one here
who can create quality, and everyone else is the enemy?
Everyone else isn't the enemy.
Your own assistant came up with a great idea,
but you won't give her the time of day.
I had to meet with her to hear about it.
You brought your idea to him behind my back?
No.
No, he heard about it, and...
- And what? - And he asked me to write something.
I explicitly asked you to tell me...
Don't you see what he's doing, Lily? I trusted you.
- I know. - And then you met with him.
He asked me to have breakfast, and I felt like I couldn't say no.
Believe me, he doesn't care about my idea.
He just wants to date me.
[Crying]
I can't believe I'm sitting in the office of this place that I created,
crying [sobbing] 'cause the guy
who's trying to take it from me likes you better.
Oh, God, Christie. No, I...
Christie, I'm so sorry. I...
Lily...
...you're fired.
[Doorbells chime]
Have a nice day.
Oh, gee. I can't breathe.
I'm, like, I can't... I can't even believe this.
- You got my message? - Huh?
Because I know I sounded upset in my message,
but I am upset, so in a way, I'm glad you're upset.
I'm sorry. I have no idea what you're talking about.
I'm talking about your idea for the magazine,
which is based on my idea for the bookstore,
which you basically stole.
- What? - Okay, not stole.
You used my idea, which is fine.
I should be flattered, considering how dumb you thought my idea was.
What are you talking about?
Oh, come on, Lily. Your whole idea was my idea.
Building a community, matching people up.
That's ridiculous.
I'm not saying you did it consciously,
but subconsciously, you appropriated my idea,
which is fine if you would just acknowledge it.
- I can't acknowledge something untrue. - No, sweetie, you won't.
That's why they call it subconscious.
Okay.
You know what, Judy? I can't handle this right now.
All I want you to do is think about it.
The week Judy was born, my mother hired a baby nurse to help,
and she was sitting in the living room with newborn Judy,
and I was in the corner playing with one of those hard, pink balls,
and I guess I threw the ball at Judy's head.
Obviously, I wasn't trying to kill her,
but, boy, did that nurse freak out.
Oh, Rick, you don't get it. I stole her idea.
Lil, something in the world inspires you,
and that's how people get ideas.
I never would have had the idea
if it hadn't been for her matchmaking thing.
On a certain level, I took her idea.
And the card in that book,
I must have noticed it at the opening of Booklovers,
but I blocked that out.
Lil, is it possible you were focusing on this
to distract yourself from what you're upset about?
You mean that I got fired?
[Rattling]
Zoe? It's so early. What are you doing up?
I don't feel good.
- Does your stomach hurt? - Nothing hurts.
Oh, munchkin.
I want to tell you something about when I had Grace...
I know. It's the first time you had a baby,
and it was the most special, greatest thing.
- I understand. - Zoe...
What I was going to say
is that I was...
You know what? I made a lot of mistakes.
I was nervous and terrified half the time.
Maybe that's why Grace is more afraid of things than you are.
You benefited from my practicing on her, you might say,
and Grace could say maybe that's not fair.
Does she?
I don't know, but I do know if you guys go through life
making lists and comparing notes,
you're gonna be two very unhappy people.
I'm unhappy now.
Why? Because Grace got a computer?
Because I'm all alone.
You're not here, and Grace hates me.
She does not, Zoe.
In a couple of years, she'll be gone anyway,
and I'll be here, going through high school,
and she'll be gone.
Come here, my sweet angel.
You know what? I'm gonna be here with you.
Thanks, guys. This is awesome.
[Knocks on door]
Hey.
Christie, I'm not here to ask for my job back.
Okay. Why are you here?
Well, I've been...
I've been thinking a lot about the investor presentation you have
and how important it is for you to go into that meeting
- from a position of strength. - Yeah.
And one of...
One of the marks that they have against you
is, frankly, your problems in working with the staff.
So if you go into that meeting with those investors
having just fired your assistant, on top of your webmaster quitting...
I'm listening.
I'm not asking for my job back, not at all, I'm fired,
but today in this meeting, if it helps create an impression...
You'll stand by me till the presentation's over?
- Yes. - Like The Way We Were,
Oh, my God. You're right.
Streisand asks Hubbell to stick by till the baby's born.
And they both know it's over. It's so sad.
That was his baby. This isn't your baby.
- Why are you gonna do this? - I don't know. Because I can.
Because I should have told you that I was having breakfast with Graham.
So another thing I was thinking
is Graham is looking for a replacement for Artie,
but that job is so central to what you do here.
If Graham fills it,
he'll have his person in that powerful position.
I don't think Artie's my person anymore.
Well, let me call him. Maybe I can help.
Lily, where's all this political savvy coming from?
I have two kids at home with major sibling issues.
This is nothing.
[Door closes]
I put it together for you. It all works good.
Why'd you put it together down here?
I can help you take it upstairs.
Is this just a way to get me to give it to you?
Forget it.
Are you trying to make me feel guilty? It's a logical question, Zoe.
- Zo... - Don't touch me!
Ever find yourself being a much more horrible person than you really are?
That's happening to me, like, too much this year...
...or this decade,
and since you know you didn't mean to be that horrible,
you hope that everybody else knows too.
[Lily] That's what we were just talking about,
people aren't interchangeable.
Exactly.
And...
Can you stop playing that for a minute?
This is not a thing. This is me against them.
Christie was saying that you were there from the beginning.
You were... What did you call it?
Employee number three.
A lot of water under that bridge.
Artie.
You have a very personal and creative signature.
And?
It's not just a technical skill. I know that.
That's as much groveling as I intend to do.
So, how do we monetize what's already working on the content side?
Creating a new revenue stream
through affiliate deals in which PagesAlive
acts as a portal to e-commerce sites.
PagesAlive started out as an unproven concept play
with no clear way of making money.
Because of its value-add, its uniqueness and attractiveness,
we feel that with mezzanine financing,
we'll have an exit strategy within nine to 12 months.
- Oh, and here's some cool graphics... - [man] Pages alive, alive,
Which is why people come to the site after all. Content.
- It went great. - Nice meeting you.
You two seem like a good fit. Am I a genius or what?
He's obsessed with being a genius. Embarrassing.
They're great together.
See you guys.
I found a guy for the webmaster job. He can start tomorrow.
Oh, guess what. Artie wants to stay.
- Isn't there conflict? - I fixed it.
He's high-maintenance, but brilliant. No learning curve.
- He's dedicated. - I think we keep him.
Okay. So, who's up for a celebratory drink?
- I am. - Sorry.
I need to be somewhere right now, but thank you.
Hey.
God, it looks great out here.
It does.
Does this heater work?
Mm-hmm. People are still sitting out here.
God, I wish you'd quit.
[Exhales] Believe me, so do I.
Judy, I need to tell you something.
When you were born, I did a terrible thing.
You mean when you tried to kill me with the ball?
- You know about that? - Mom told me.
Our mother told you that? Why?
You know Mom.
Amazing.
Lil, it's not something I think about every day.
Is it too late to apologize?
No, go ahead. I don't need you to.
I'm so sorry that I tried to kill you when you were a week old.
- I wasn't really trying... - Oh, sure, you were.
- Oh. - You just have a really bad arm.
- You throw like a girl. - Thank God.
Judy...
I can't believe I took your idea
and I didn't even realize it.
I felt like I picked up that pink ball and threw it at you again.
I obliterated you in my mind.
That's exactly what it felt like.
I am so, so sorry.
I know.
Do you?
Because I want us to be able to...
I don't know. I want us...
Hey.
I forgive you.
Just keep those pink balls under lock and key, okay?
I'll try.
So, can I still use your idea?
I thought you were fired.
Zoe.
You can stop apologizing. I'm not always gonna hate you.
- Why not? - It's impractical.
I may need something from you someday in the distant future.
[Sighs] I can't wait.
Maybe I'm gonna get my period.
You're a little young.
That would explain getting emotional, right?
I guess, or it could just be that, uh, I've been kind of mean.
If I don't get my period by tomorrow,
then that's it, you're mean.
Well, you're annoying.
You're selfish and stupid.
Yeah, well,
you're a loudmouthed little pest.
Oh, yeah?
- Yeah! - Aah!
Zoe, take that!
No, no, no!
[Zoe and Grace shouting and laughing]
- Phil. - Hey.
- Have you met anyone? - Well...
- You did not. - There's more than one?
You blowing me off?
- No. - You are.
- I want to see you. - That's really complicated.
You're wrong.
Are you gonna jump from one person to the next?
Judy, do you even know what you want?